How To Create Connection With People Who Don’t Want To Be In Training (But Have To Be)

Angry eyes Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash
Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

The person who doesn’t want to be in training, you know them too well. They let you know through their direct words or their subtle actions from the moment they walk in. They can be very unpleasant and impact the entire class.

When dealing with any difficult behavior in the training space there are a few things to keep in mind:

  • They have a story you don’t know
  • Your response to them will determine their reaction in class
  • It’s not your task to get them to like you
  • Don’t take it personally

Your positive comments about class are not going to convince someone who doesn’t want to be in training that it’s a great place to be. However, if you can identify their reservations, you can connect with them:

  • The job makes taking time away from training difficult.
  • Their manager is the one who has the real problem.
  • They’ve been sent because of a perceived deficiency they feel they don’t have.
  • They have no time to do anything new or different.

How do you connect with their reservations? Here are a few of my favorite phrases when I know I have reluctant people in class:

“How many of you have a million things to do at your desk?”

“I know it’s your manager who should be here.”

“How many of you hope this isn’t really boring.”

You can also ask them to self identify as either a prisoner, vacationer, or explorer.

A Prisoner

A prisoner was sent to training against their wishes. They are going to do time in class, hoping to be paroled early. Training feels like a punishment for something they’ve done incorrectly or an unwanted task they will be responsible for in the future.

A Vacationer

A vacationer is happy to be away from their desks and their daily responsibilities. They are happy for a break and may not want to expend a lot of effort in training — it’s a vacation after all.

Photo of backpack on a rock by Josiah Weiss on Unsplash
Photo by Josiah Weiss on Unsplash

An Explorer

An explorer is looking for new ideas and tools that will help them back on the job. They are ready for information and want to challenge their own ideas. They are often eager and show high readiness for learning. They are the ideal learner.

Acknowledgment may not make them eager to be in class, but it will help them feel connected to you. If they connect to you they are less likely to display difficult behaviors you will need to manage. By having each person self identify, you know what behaviors to expect as well as their readiness to learn. They feel acknowledged as you share there is no judgement toward how people show up in class.

What strategies do you use to connect with learners who don’t want to be in class? Share your ideas in the comments below.

Check back next week as we dig into one challenging behavior we may need to ignore!

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